I
think it’s ridiculous that we only have a finite amount of time on this earth. I
have way too many things to do still, in too short a period of time left in
this limited life span.
For
instance…I’d love to sit down with a President. I don’t want to discuss
politics since I’m politically ignorant...but I’d love to just talk about life.
His/her life. My life. Life itself…over a bowl of Life...and double chocolate
chip brownies. Then once the sugar high hits, a little karaoke and a disco dance-off.
I’ve
yet to meet the man of my dreams. He’s supposedly out there. Just once I’d like
to meet who Mr. Right is. That soul mate I’ve never found. Even if we don’t end
up together…I’d love to just see who he is and decide if I agree with whoever
said he’s my match made in heaven. Oh wait…maybe that’s what I have to wait for…heaven.
Ahhhh…makes so much sense now why he’s nowhere to be found on earth.
Speaking
of Earth. I’d love to take a trip to Pluto, see if anyone lives there, play a
game of badminton with a Plutonian, then come back down to earth and declare Pluto
a full size planet again. Can you imagine being 76 years old and finding out
you’re not who you thought you were all those years? How humiliating for Pluto
to get demoted. [I think ‘come back down
to earth’ may be a significant phrase in this blog.]
I’d
like to stop shaving and see how long the hair on my legs and armpits would
get. It would be gross; but it would be interesting.
Just
once…I’d love to make a million dollars…in one lump sum. I mean, I would take
more if I could, but a million would do.
I
want to go to a town of 25,000 people and see how long it would take to meet
each person who lives there. I would prefer it be in Italy, but I would take
any town in the USA if I had to. Maybe I should start with 10,000 people. That’s
probably more attainable.
I
want to have the ultimate orgasm. Whatever that is…I wanna have it. Multiple times.
I
want to be a guest speaker at a college commencement and motivate graduates. I’d
like to do that without shitting in my pants from fear of speaking in front of
people.
I’d
like to quarterback a pro-football team. [What’s more unlikely than me ever quarterbacking…is
L.A. getting a home team; but that’s a whole other fantasy.] So the closest
would be the Chargers. And I can’t get sacked. Or tackled. Or hurt in any way
whatsoever.
I’d
like to grace the cover of a magazine. It may be AARP but still…it’s a cover. I’d
like to see if/what professionals would do to my hair and make-up to change my
look and then how much would get photo-shopped.
Overcoming
my fears is something I’d like to do before I leave this earth. Of course, I’d
like to overcome them without actually having to perform them in order to
overcome them.
I
would like to master the art of walking down the stairs in flip-flops without
sounding like the Ohio State Marching Band just invaded my house.
I
have a few discoveries I’d like to make. Like the phenomenon of traffic. If
there’s no accident, how is there traffic? I understand one car driving slowly to cause traffic in one lane…but all the lanes at the same time? C’mon.
I
want to figure out how bugs get into the globes that cover light bulbs in the
ceiling.
I’d like to invent a substitute food for all animals to eat instead of them killing
each other for sustenance. Something like baco bits…on a larger scale. Life-size
bits. Maybe buffalo. That should stop that damn circle of life crap.
My
bucket list has always consisted of going on an African safari. Maybe I could take those Buff bits I created and take them over there to spread around. Ok…quite unrealistic, but the safari part isn’t. Of course
I couldn’t afford it until I get that million dollars.
I’ve
pondered over the unknown quite often…on large and small scales…like how many
blades of grass are on someone’s lawn. [I’ve thought about the whole planet but
that was also, not too realistic.] Or how many strands of hair are on my head.
Although that’s forever changing because…as of late…I think there’s more on the
floor and in my brush than attached to my head.
When
does a freckle appear? When I’m sleeping? Just all of a sudden it’s there? How
did I not see it forming?
If
you use a washcloth with soap, why do you have to wash a washcloth?
What's up with Europeans and their teeth?
And
where are those f**king silver fish coming from? We see other bugs outside and
know they come in through open doors or windows. But you never see a silver
fish outside so how do they just appear? They’re disgusting.
I
have yet to go hot air ballooning. I attempted to go twice. The first time the
winds were too strong so they sent us home. The second time I was pregnant and
they wouldn’t let me in the bucket. Apparently, delivering a baby on board wasn’t
part of their duties. And along those lines of being airborne…zip-lining. That’s
a definite one I’m doing. I just hope my limitations with my shoulders, neck,
back and fear of heights don’t get in the way of me soaring across some jungle-like terrain 80 gazillion feet in the air. I think that’s where that ‘overcoming
my fears’ thing would come in handy.
I
would’ve liked to have met Sinatra and sang a duet with him, but I missed that
opportunity. Although…you never know. Maybe…just maybe…he’s that match made in
heaven I was referring to. And just maybe…he’s there at the bar hanging out with Ed
McMahon, who’s been holding on to my million dollars all these years. But I think that discovery will remain last on my list.
Some never get in the ocean. For many, the shore that leads to it is so beautiful that they need nothing else . I liked this one much Perl.
ReplyDeletethanks MM.
DeleteI can help with the multiple Orgasms!!!
ReplyDeletegeez...i wonder who this is?? :)
DeleteJaime, great as always!
ReplyDeletethank you whoever this is? would love to know!
DeleteJaime...great writing......so many of my thoughts!!! Maybe we really are cousins! We never found out! xo
ReplyDeletethanks elyse! let's just assume we ARE! xoxo
Delete