Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Sit Still, Wouldya? [An audio/video Interactive Blog]

What do you do when you don't want to do anything but you want to do something? It's not really that I didn't WANT to do something, but my back had been in spasms for two days, so I just didn't feel good enough to do anything and knew that I shouldn't do anything, so as not to worsen my pain. But even when I don't want to do anything...I still have to do something. I'm not one to sit around even if I have nothing planned. I always find things to do around the house and if I don't...I concoct. But most of them require physical movement. There are not too many things you can do that allow you to just sit still...except reading, watching TV or sitting at the computer. But there is just so much of that you can do in a weekend. Believe me…I do my best to compete for the world’s record for most hours logged in on the computer and TV, but I do get to a point where my eyes are unfocusable (I made that word up) and I have to find other things. 

My weekend started out pain free (or what I call pain free in my world since I’m never pain free.)So bright and early Saturday morning, I started doing chores. Laundry that hadn't been done for a couple of weeks had piled up so it was time for a little fluff and fold. Once my sheets were out of the dryer, I started making my bed...and...BOING!

Spasms galore. I could not straighten up. So with my spine at a 45 degree angle, I finished putting the sheets on, [because being the slightly obsessive neat freak that I am, I couldn’t leave my bed half made just because of some excruciating back spasms], then proceeded downstairs to ice my back. Try finding a comfortable position when every which way you move causes spasms. I tried every couch and chair in the house that I could find, and after about an hour of struggling to get up and down testing each one, I was exhausted. I finally decided on one, sat down, futzed around trying to find that perfect position, strategically placed pillows around me, placed the ice pack on my lower back…and… Ding Dong. Are you f**king kidding me? The doorbell rang.

If I wasn’t expecting a delivery I would have ignored it but I couldn’t. It only took me about 4 minutes to rock myself up out of the chair like an 80 year old and walk to the door. 

Luckily I had a very patient FedEx person.

After about 4 hours of icing on and off, I was going nuts just sitting around once the spasms had subsided. The rest of my day consisted of various things I probably shouldn't have been doing. And of course I did things that required major physical twisting, which I never do on a daily or weekly basis. I pride myself on not being the brightest when it comes to physical limitations. I just go for it if it involves exercise or physical output, and I'm damn proud of it.

I'm not a sweeper. I'm not a fan of brooms. But there were leaves on the patio that were pissing me off because I had to traipse over them every day. Since I was having back problems, what better to do but sweep? I don't like dirty patios. I don't like dirty anything. So naturally, cleaning couldn't come at a more opportune time; when I should be doing nothing but resting my back. I made sure that I didn't sweep the entire patio though, so that my back didn't get too weary. 

When I got inside, I noticed sand on the floor because my kids had been at the beach. Couldn't let that stay there, and since the broom was already in hand, I swept up the floor. I only did downstairs, though, so that my back didn't get too weary. Following the pattern here? But as I was walking up the stairs to get something, a few little dust bunnies popped out at me. Well…there’s no way that is going to be overlooked. So what’s the smartest thing to do? Get out the vacuum, of course. But I made sure I just used the portable one. Ya know…the one whose hose is so short you have to bend over and stay that way the whole time you’re vacuuming? Another ingenious idea by moi.

As I remained stuck in the prone position for the next 20 minutes, my dog came to visit me from underneath. Good thing she is small so that she could get below me. She didn’t really understand why my hands weren’t rubbing her tummy but rather perched against the wall holding up my body. As I climbed my hands up the wall slowly straightening my back, she decided it was a good time for humping. Never miss an opportunity to hump a leg. (watch this til the end).

I finally semi-straightened up but before I did, I noticed the moldings and the walls had some marks on them that just didn’t belong there. How bad could it be for my back to do a little eraser sponging along the walls? But not only did I notice the marks on the wall, but I noticed my dog could use a little trim on her bangs. What better to do then bend down again and pick up my 20 pound dog for a little hair styling? I know 20 pounds doesn’t sound like a lot, but in doggie pounds…that’s like 140.

Eventually, I smartened up and realized I was being way over zealous and thought a shower would be the last output of energy on my unplanned agenda. I was in desperate need from all the activity I wasn't supposed to be doing that day. Too bad I'm not a bath lover because as I stepped into the shower, I didn't notice the bar of soap laying on the bottom, and as I stepped in....

How was YOUR day?


  1. I'm exhausted and in such sympathy that I must lie down and rest.How do you think of all these things to blog? You have the greatest imagination and to find the appropiate pictures. You're really good. Congratulations. You should write a humorous book. I'll buy it!

  2. 1) You really oughta see a pain specialist.
    2) What, exactly, did you Google to find that dog-on-teddy action?

  3. @frank...going to ortho on monday. and i believe i just googled dog humping leg but thought that one was a riot. did you hear the thump...poor little thing. i hope to see that kind of action soon! :)

  4. Well Jaime if we are judging our days by back issues then my day was great. Although after reading your blog I took 2 aspirin, searched for my heating pad, filled 4 big plastic bags with ice and although I am an anal neat freak as well...I will take care of my back before it starts to bother me.

    My head does hurt though.....Nice Blog Dear...quick question "did your daughters notice the sand"?...your right stupid ?

  5. glad i could aid you in preventative medicine! and would it really matter if my daughters noticed or would never enter their mind to clean it up. not sure what you meant when you wrote "your right stupid?"

  6. Phillippe Rossner.October 20, 2011 at 4:23 AM

    Sorry,I can't life is different...Guess I am more as of a dreamer...

    Sitting in the park with some friends last afternoon , I saw an older couple walking together under trees golden with autumn leaves and I commented
    Something about the way they carried themselves, attentive to the path ahead of them but all the while focusing on one another, moved me.
    That's what I want, I thought.
    So simple, and yet so difficult to find, that sweet, strong, sure kind of fitting together with another.
    Light, but intense.

    As for what I bring to the mix, well, I know it's fashionable to claim simplicity, but I cannot tell a lie: I'm sometimes ambivalent or uncertain. But hey, I'm also lively and curious, honest and compassionate, a critical thinker interested in the life of the mind (and I don't just mean my own!) .........but at the same time I enjoy the physical side of things, and appreciate of all aspects of love and romance.
    I feel deeply, all along the range of human emotion from joy to melancholy.
    To feel fully alive I need contact with nature as well as culture. I love music, sing unpredictably and dance imperfectly (and do both with real pleasure). I'm not a raving beauty, but I'm not a raving lunatic either. I believe that love is the biggest risk we take, and the most necessary, and that patience, humour and pleasure are what feed us. I'm looking for a woman who will take that risk, who loves wholeheartedly, fights fair and makes up well, who doesn't pretend she likes my singing but never tells me to stop, and who doesn't break out in a cold sweat if I read her a poem - in general, a woman or a man who knows how important it is to be open to another, to treat one's lover like gold, and to keep trying. It's a lot to ask, they tell me, but I give as good as I get -- often better. Important: please note I'm Jewish, but I have a history of serious relationships with also with non Jew . And guess your chicken soup might just be the best I have ever tasted.hahaha

    Guess you will know me a bit better...xoxo

  7. I meant to to right YEAH RIGHT STUPID ?

  8. @artie...ahhhhhhh...i should have figured that one out.

    @phillippe...your comment totally confused me as in reference to this blog. was it supposed to be in response to another blog posting?